Temporary assignments.

Today I am off yet again to play Interior Designer in Miami Beach. To most this would be a dream come true. Some would even enjoy it. I on the other hand take little joy in taking time out of what I would really like to be doing. For some reason the good ideas only come to me when I am away from my workbench. Then when I am finally in front of it the idea MAGICALLY disappears or even the motivation to get it started. When I am occupied with something other than jewelry design I find my mind wonders back to metals, shapes, and designs. Its such a high for me that if I do not sketch that idea instantly then I lose all connection to it when I have the opportunity to finally make it come to life. Its strange how the mind works.

For example, today I find myself wanting to create patterns and enter it in an online competition on www.textilerepublic.com. Textile design is something I have been playing with ever since my fashion illustrator professor at Miami International University, Mr.Prada introduced me to it. He gave a 2 day tutorial on Photoshop and Illustrator during which he showed us a few techniques and tricks on how to create your own background instantaneously that in his mind could turn into a pattern design. In those two days he captivated me with the simple usage of the tools available in the programs. It was as if I had walked into a parallel universe where I could PLAY God by just a mouse click. Soon after I purchase the two pricey softwares and began exploring. Soon after that I became bored. As I always do after just a few weeks. I picked it up again here and there but found that I had to relearn everything as I went. It was a exhausting and completely like me. I quit almost always before I even begin. But nw since I have all this free time on my hands I have taken to creating vector and bitmap images. 

I keep waiting for that moment when I will discover exactly what I am good at and that captivates me for more then mere hours. Hollywood sells us a world where in just seconds all your dreams come true. The NOW factor. I want it NOW! I have to have it NOW! Any minute NOW! I have yet to encounter it in real life. But I am still naive enough to keep looking for it. 

I feel like Im blabbing but in mind this all makes perfect since. 

I have always wondered if other people feel this indecisive about life? Or is it a phase all go through when transitioning from childhood to adulthood? I have no one to ask because it seems to me that the people around me are exactly where they want to be. And it looks as if they got there exactly how they planned to. Or is that they have come to terms with their journey and destination? 

I was taught to live life with no regrets. Or at least try to. Do what you want in the moment and do what you say. Do not just plan hypothetical trips, DO them! Thats how my mom is. When she puts her mind to something she DOES it! I guess thats why I am that way too. Sure I quit things suddenly but at least I DO them, try them, experience them. 

When I was 13 years old I told my mom I wanted to go to boarding school. I cant remember why, but I remember being so certain that that was what I wanted and that boarding school was my next step. Soon after I announced my decision I found a school in Colorado called Fountain Valley. I applied on my own. I took pictures at CVS for the ID slot in the application, collected recommendation letters, and took the PPSATs. And guess what? I was accepted. I thought I was heading into a world of the equestrian, intellectual elite. I told everyone that I was moving to Colorado! Then reality struck. My mom sat me down and explained to me that attending this school meant I would I have to chose between paying for high school or college. The financial aspect had never occurred to me. Then again how often does a 13 year old think about tuition? 

Thats just one example of how when I get something in my head I do it until I hit a wall. Whether that wall be financial, psychological, or reality I just keep on at it until I cant go any further. 

Anyway I am off now to my temporary assignment as Interior Designer. 

Ta ta.